A Preacher's Life

A happy Monday morning to all! I hope everyone had a good weekend. These were sent to me over the weekend by a member in the congregation here in La Grange. I thought these were pretty funny and wanted to share. Enjoy!

Jason

PREACHER'S LIFE

A preacher said to a farmer, "Do you belong to the Christian family?"

"No," he said, "they live two farms down."

"No, I mean are you lost?"

"No, I've been here thirty years."

"I mean, are you ready for Judgment Day?"

"When is it?"

"Could be today or tomorrow."

"Well, when you find out for sure when it is, you let me know. My wife will probably want to go both days!"

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Call to Another Church

A preacher places his order at the pet store. "I need at least 50 mice, 2,000 ants and as many of those little silverfish you can get."

The clerk replies, "We can probably do that, but it might take some time. Mind if I ask why you are placing such an unusual order?"

The preacher replies, "I've accepted an offer to another church and the men told me to leave the parsonage the way I found it."

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Farewell Offering

During the last Sunday service that the preacher was to spend at the church he served for some years, his hat was passed around for a goodwill offering.

When it returned to the preacher, it was empty.

The preacher didn't flinch.

He simply raised the hat to Heaven and said, "I thank You, Lord, that I got my hat back from this congregation."


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Hot-Air Hand Dryers

My preacher friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at the church where he preaches and after two weeks, took them out.

I asked him why and he confessed that they worked fine, but when he went in there he saw a sign that read, "For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button.